Boom
by A Machiavellian Figure
Summary: Jasper is a manipulated and confused suicide bomber desperately seeking an escape. Can Alice save him from himself? Will she want to when she realises what he's done? A/J contains some violence/language in future chapters. Dark fic. ON HIATUS
1. Boom

Chapter 1 – All Over Soon...

* * *

**A/N: **This is my first ff so please be nice & R&R.

1. This is the story of a young suicide bomber, Jasper who has been ordered to blow up a crowded plane station in an attempt to blackmail the government but finds himself looking for a way out. What happens when someone hears his silent cry? Please note: All conflicts/opinions mentioned in this ff are purely fictional. They are the result of a 24 (the best TV show ever) marathon, an unhealthy amount of Fight Club (the best movie ever) and a Twilight obsession (needs no explanation) and they do not reflect my opinions so no hate mail please!

2. The illness Jasper refers to is schizophrenia otherwise known as multiple-personality disorder, I will attach a link with more details of his condition on my profile soon or you can look it up on Wiki :-). I have written Jasper's "other" personality in italics & that is who he is referring to when he talks about "us", I hope this clears up any confusion.

3. This fic contains some bad-language & will have detailed violence/sex scenes in later chapters so please don't read if you are upset by these things.

4. Finally, I don't own Twilight/24/Fight Club/anything at all because I'm not cool enough...

* * *

**JP.O.V**

_Boom._ We stared at the bland carpeted floor of the plane, packed with the boring surplus population. _Boom._ We imagined the screams of horror from the suave businessmen, the naive chattering teens clinging to one another as a burning fireball engulfed them. _Boom._ We prayed that our sacrifice would end the power struggles of our cause against the twisted corrupted government. _Boom. _The light spilling from the flickering digits on the timer in our hand was reaching its climax, as we tightened our grip, digging our nails into our skin, deliberately scratching the surface. _It's going to happen. You have made it happen._ It would be over soon...

Our fingers drifted slowly to our chest where the explosive charges were surgically grafted under our skin before remembering Maria's orders: We must not draw attention to our self & the large amount of explosives & metal hidden deep inside our body. The weight of the bomb was uncomfortable– it made it all far too real. We could not distract our self from the terrifying reality that we had a mass-murdering device on our person, ready to detonate. _Jasper..._ But it was necessary, it was all necessary. Maria had already explained that the government needed to be stopped before they could destroy all our freedom & condemned us to a life controlled by their rules, forcing us into submission. _That's right..._

_Our high rank & devotion to our cause meant we were the perfect candidate for such a mission, it is an honour._ We repeated the mantra silently. But the unfailing conviction was gone from our tone; somehow the arguments seemed weak & implausible without our Maria at our side. The words were lost in our mouth, without her to echo. _Think of all she has done for us..._

It was true, she had done a lot for us - _so, so much - _we were suffocating on an isolated farm in the Deep South. Our parents had been committed into a psych ward leaving us to care for our family of eight. We had dragged ourselves out of our crappy bed hours before the crack of dawn into the fields to work for twelve hours straight until our backs were bent and our spirit broken when we collapsed into our stone filled bed late at night. It was enough to make anyone crazy.

Especially a youth with a genetic history of schizophrenia & a thirst for attention. That was why we got involved with drugs. Our remote ranch was miles from the nearest police station, not that there was anyone there anyway, making it the perfect drop-off point. We got ourselves addicted to cocaine within the first month and within the second we had stopped bothering to buy food for our family. We were lost, sinking slowly into oblivion. With no-one else to talk to the other voice became louder and more talkative. We realised we liked cocaine but not our brothers and sisters; so we dumped them at an orphanage in Dallas and spent the money on coke.

It was a bad time for us.

We were desperate in our attempts to find the money to fuel our addiction and we were desperate in our attempts to escape from our life. That was when Maria found us. She visited us on the farm one evening in late January, joining Jack, our regular supply guy. Her long hair appeared ebony viewed through the shadows of the night and her eyes stood out from her pale ethereal skin, a chilling crimson which haunted our every waking hour. She visited us often, three sometimes, four times a week and captivated our senses as she sent us secret smiles and suggestive glances.

She approached us a month after our first meeting and offered us a chance to lead a different life, serving under her orders to bring freedom to all. _It was all our dreams fulfilled at once, she was all our dreams fulfilled at once._ Except she wasn't. Despite her subtle hints in the moonlight she expressed no desire to become lovers. Despite the confusion and disillusionment this caused us in the beginning we soon realised we didn't really want it. _Our cause was our only love. _She was not the woman whose soul mirrored mine, she was merely a crush. We altered our dreams to revolve purely around our cause and became a better soldier for it.

We had trained for moths in preparation for this; hidden deep is the shadows of El Paso. We had gone over the situation countless times anticipating every possible move of every possible person._ Except they are not people are they Jasper..._ No, they are our prey. _That's right..._

We wanted to open my mouth to scream, to warn the nearby passengers to run, hide & escape the consequences of our mistake. _Jasper... _My eyes darted to the other passengers, my prey. _No..._The cabin was packed as people sat in their working-class chairs anxiously woneding if they would arrive on time, despite the bad weather conditions. _Evil slaves of a corrupt institution. We_ straightened up earning us some admiring glances from the girls on my left, as we debated shouting a warning to them. _Don't... _They didn't deserve to die, none of them did. Our fight was with the government yet we were killing innocents. What had they done to warrant this?

At the far edge of our vision, uo in the luxury seating area we saw a beautiful red-haired boy turn to stare at us. We ignored him, turning our face away. We really didn't want to think about our victims; the pain and suffering we would cause their families and we could stop... _No we can't, Jasper. We_ could shout... _No we can't... _We could tear the bomb from our body, freezing its countdown and save hundreds of people from becoming piles of ash & bones in a twisted metal fireball. _Ha! We don't want to save these people. We were the ones who condemned them._ But we could stop and free them from this fate. We_ don't believe in fate._

It was true. Why should we believe in a predestined path that results in a predetermined conclusion? When our life was doomed from the very beginning – both of our parents were in mental institutes with the disease that eat their brains & rotted their souls. Schizophrenia destroyed their life. Now it will destroy ours. _Why should we believe in fate when all belief ever brought us was a terminal illness? _And a suicide mission we had no desire to fulfil. _Yes we do. It is our life..._

We felt our breath hitch from the fear rising in our chest as the realty of our situation sunk in. _Don't panic, Jasper. Remember - we are doing this for Maria. Think of all that she has done for us._ We were going to die now, that much we knew, but the aching emotion in our chest transcended the physical pain. We were consumed by regret. _No, we are complete at last. _Not regret for the hundreds of lives soon to stain our soul, but for the waste our life had been._ They are only lab rats, they don't posses souls. _The guilt surprised us, for we had not felt this dissatisfaction before – our life was complete. The hole left in our world when our parents had succumbed to the disease they had fought for 20 years had been filled by Maria & her ideals of a better world. We had a cause, a passion, a goal that justified our existence. What more did we need?

Love. _No..._

The word filled our mind leaving us bewildered. We had been loved by our parents: regarded as the golden child of our large family. After their demise, we reserved our love for our cause, although Maria's silky hair & haunting eyes had claimed part of our heart for themselves. That part of our heart was dying, filled with flimsy emotions she would never reciprocate but it was the reason we were here today.

_We had been content to sit back & watch enviously as others enjoyed their lives but Maria had shown us that we were destined for more. W had been picked by God, designed by Him for the sole purpose of self-sacrifice. Maria had known it as soon as she saw us. "Why else would you be so beautiful if not destined for martyrdom? What other reason is there for your disease if it is not to grant you greater wisdom - for you have two inner voices to guide you on the right path. My path." she had whispered to us. We had carried these words round like a talisman, letting them ignite our passion & fuel our desire. We had lost our restlessness & for the first time in our life we felt like we had belonged somewhere._

But the regret refused to subside, swirling round our stomach making us sick, as we glanced at the timer in our hand. The countdown began to speed up_. ...02.00...01.59...01.58... _We would have liked to have known love before we had died. Passionate, all-consuming love not the platonic philia adoration we felt for our shattered and unrecognizable family or the lust infused admiration we felt for Maria. _No, Jasper, we have love for our cause and for our leader. That is all we need, it's all we will ever need._

We wanted to know our soul-mate & spend our life by her side. _Cut it out Jasper. _We wanted get off the tube & run as fast & as hard as we could until we met her. _Wouldn't change a thing - you're committed, remember Jasper. We_ could..._ Stop! We can't back out now; we have a cause & a purpose. _Yes, but... _Maria. What about Maria? Don't we love her? _We frowned internally. Maria was beautiful but we had always imagined our self with someone treasured us above anything else in the world & who would always put us first. Maria would always put herself first, the cause second and we were lucky to be in the top 10. _That's the way it's supposed to be. We love our cause more than anything; it is our soul-mate. No stupid boring woman could ever replace our cause._

This was stupid. We had never given love or soul mates any attention before this day. _Because they don't matter, we have already found our soul-mate. _Why did it suddenly haunt us? _Because we are panicking. _Because we don't want to be here. _It's the nerves talking Jasper..._ I don't want to do this. _No! This is our life!_

ARGHHHHH. We screamed silently as our brain tore itself apart. _Don't disobey again Jasper; we don't want to die prematurely in such agony. _We glanced desperately round the enclosed cabin, desperately seeking someone who could help us.

Our wild eyes were suddenly met by the warm gold eyes of the red-haired boy. _Stop looking. _We stared desperately trying to switch place with him so that we could get off at the next stop and not be responsible for the deaths of these innocent people. _Stop looking!_ A shadow flickered briefly across the boy's face as he stood up and shuffled past the rows of seats towards us. _Stop fucking looking!_ We quickly lowered our gaze as pain sears across the inside of our skull.

The boy pauses in his approach, standing as still as a statue, head slightly cocked as though listening intently despite being on the other side of the cabin. Then suddenly his figure blurred as she sped towards me...

_But there was nothing he could do... _It would be over soon. It would all be over soon.

Suddenly I felt an icy hand clamp down upon my shoulder...

* * *

Sorry to leave it hanging but I want to see if people are interested in this fic before continuing so please R&R - even if your comments are negative they are still appreciated.

I hope you enjoyed a glance into Jaspers mind...

Thanks


	2. Diffuse

Chapter 2 - Diffuse

**A/N:**

1. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the people who reviewed!! Seriously, you guys are the best & thanks for all the positive feedback. Glad you liked it. :-) Please continue to R&R, it's great to know what you think of the story, even if it is negative! Thanks.

2. To clear up any confusion: Jasper is not a vampire (yet?) but Maria & Edward are. _Italics are used to show Jasper's homicidal alter-ego. _Alice has not been featured yet, but she will be soon, don't worry! Sorry for any confusion any of this caused & please message me with any other questions you have.

3. I don't own Twilight (or anything else for that matter...) Stephanie Meyer does.

* * *

"Come with me" a disembodied voice commanded. No, that's impossible. He had been down the other end of the plane half a second ago. There was no way he could have moved that fast. No, it was someone else.

We looked up at the boy leaning over us, gazing thoughtfully at us, like a half-completed rubix cube that held fascinating codes and patterns for someone who knows how to manipulate it, his hand firmly squeezing my shoulder. We stared at him amazed. Be careful Jasper. This one is dangerous.

We tightened our grips on the arm-rests and attempted to shrug off his grip, as any normal anti-social teenager would. Good, Jasper. But we needed to get off the plane before... We've been through this –there will be no backing out now. But he would help... He can't help us, no-one can. Now run!

The crippling pressure the hand exerted suddenly on our shoulder as it dragged up from our seat was enough to make most people scream. _But we are not "most people", we are something more..._ We focused on the source of the pain, as Maria had taught us to, turning it into strength.

The hand clenched down, impossibly tighter, dragging us out of the seat and forcing us to remain still despite our apparently feeble attempts to escape.

The narrow isle of the plane meant that standing upright caused our scars from the operation placing the bomb inside our body to press hard against the scratchy nylon of the chair covers. We grimaced as the sharp metal case caught the edge of our liver, sending spirals of pain through our shattered nerves, as a low hiss escaped our lips. _Stay strong Jasper. Show no weakness._

"Come" The sound of his voice was barely detectable, the speed of his words made them garbled but it still sent a shiver through our body. _Don't do it Jasper..._ But we have to. _Don't make me hurt us again Jasper; you know I don't want to._ We started to turn away, but another ice-cold hand grasped at our other shoulder within a fraction of a second restraining me.

He maintained his vice-like grip on our shoulders as he forced us down the narrow isle-sides. _Get us out of here, Jasper! _We can't! He's too strong, we can't escape. _We desperately scanned the cabin, looking for an escape route but the oppressive cramped layout of the plane soon extinguished any hope of eluding this douche bag._ We considered gesturing to an air-hostess but the stone hands tightened perceptibly as we stared hopefully at a nearby steward, effectively silencing our unspoken cry.

Practically sprinting through the plane, we arrived at the gents' bathroom within seconds where the boy pushed us into the claustrophobic chamber. The fluorescent lighting overhead bathed the tiny compartment in a sickly yellow light and cast eerie shadows on the boy's face as he stared at us through slitted eyes while typing on a tiny phone. There were mere centimetres between our faces as we lowered our gaze, ashamed. He knew. We could feel it; the worry and stress was rolling off his body, clouding the air with a tension we could taste in the back of our mouth.

We didn't know how much he knew or who he had learnt it from, but the truth was there in his eyes. He stared intently at our face as if concentrating hard before turning away, as he started whispering into the cell-phone he had pressed to his ear.

"Carlisle... Yes, nothing has happened, but will it?... What do you mean??...Well, make her see! Jesus, doesn't Alice realise how important it is that we know every detail of the future?...Distracted how??... Him?? ... No Carlisle, she's wrong. Trust me....No, it'll compromise her judgement. Send Emmet... I'll need you here." Concluding his brief conversation he turned to us still thoughtful gazing intently my torso where the bomb lay hidden beneath a thin layer of cloth and skin.

That phone probably cost more than 6 months intake at the farm and he treats it like trash. We can't trust him Jasper, he's not one of us. But, he's come to help us... No! He's come to control and tame us like an animal in a zoo. No... Do you want me to remind you what happens when we fall out?? We lowered our gaze to the timer still trapped in my clenched fist.

The boy reached out and snatched it, alarm flickering briefly across his features when he saw the display. With a blurring movement he had us pressed flat to the wall as he lifted us our shirt and pulled out a surgical knife.

"No" we croaked our voice gravelly with fear. "It's in too deep. It's not possible to remove without major surgery."

"They didn't trust you?" he asked sharply. We could see the surprise on his face. It's for our protection, remember? We kept our mouth shut, not wanting to reveal anything about our cause. That's right, say nothing.

"And you let them bury a bomb in your body, with no way to postpone or diffuse it. How did you get caught up in this?" he asked us his voice void of any interest.

Don't say anything, Jasper. He is trying to make us lose faith in the cause. It's working. Why did we allow a terrorist cell to corrupt us and ask us to die for it when they gave us nothing? It is the world around us that is corrupt Jasper; we are the only uncorrupted ones in a world of confusion and conformity. They did not ask us to die; we volunteered to give our life to make a difference.

Why did we volunteer? What motivated us? Our belief in for freedom for everyone and the importance truth. That is not enough. There is no solid reason for our sacrifice. We are being asked to give up our life for ideals.

"You were right" the boy stated, interrupting our internal dialogue "It's in too deep to extract. We are going to have to operate." You can't let him do that Jasper.

"We?" We can't let him reach the bomb.

"My father and I. He is a surgeon, one of the best in the world. We can remove the bomb from you and disarm it safely. You don't need to worry." We looked up at him, with a hint of amusement in our eyes.

"The plane doesn't land for another 3 hours. This bomb will detonate in..." we checked our watch "1 hour 45. It's impossible." We shook our head. Why are you upset at this? You should be rejoicing. You want this, more than life.

"It's not a problem. Not for me" said the boy seriously.

We are one, Jasper. We share the same body, the same spirit, the same dream. You can't throw this all away over an impossible promise. This is our life.

"Please help me." The second the words left our lips, a searing pain shot through our head, burning us from the inside out, leaving no room for thought. But for a split-second we saw a flash of satisfaction dawn on the boy's face. He placed his hands gently on my temples, easing the pain somewhat.

"Of course I'll help you. My name is Edward."

* * *

**End Notes:**

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it, please R&R.

I will update soon (if I get enough reviews!)

xxxx


	3. Jump

**A/N:**

1. Sorry this chapter took a while to post, I couldn't get any of it right! I was seriously stuck as to how to express Jasper's journey as this is a big chapter for him (don't get your hopes up - sorry but there's no Alice in it yet. Very soon though!) I think I portrayed it alright in the end, but I'd love to know what you think or if you have any questions about it.

2. Please R&R, it doesn't take long - a couple of words are great, but I really want to know what people think of my writing. Thanks :-))

3. This chapter contains some very explicit bomb references. Please don't read it if this upsets you.

4. Finally I don't own Edward, Jasper, Alice or any of the Twilight crew (sob sob). Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer - I just borrow her characters and write lots of angst about them!

* * *

Chapter 3 – Jump

Slowly, Edward unlocked the door of the cramped pungent toilet, sliding the small plastic switch back, releasing us. _Now, Jasper, do it now. We can be forgiven; none of your mistakes are irreparable - if you blow it now._ We looked at the chocolate bar sized timer that Edward held in his icy hand. _Just reach out and grab it. Tear the plastic backing off, exposing the four coloured wires that run through it._

_Black: Releases the metal plates that house the bomb; pull that and our body will be filled with gasoline. Mix that with the diet cola released from the side casing and you have the highly explosive element napalm in the bloodstream in 10 short seconds. With a passenger onboard whose bloodstream is contaminated with the most volatile liquid bomb possible to manufacture outside of Iran, the plane would be lucky to make it to Washington, forget New York._

_Yellow: Triggers the 30 second countdown. If this is pulled the cola and gasoline be released slowly, mixing inside the bomb's casing, resulting in such an extreme reaction that it will ensure an explosion within the 30 second regardless of what is displayed on the timer; where any attempts to pause or postpone will result in its immediate detonation._

_Green: Causes the lumpy sluggish napalm liquid produced from a slow immersion of the two substances to be released directly into the bladder, resulting in acute diarrhoea whereby it is released from the body onto the floor of the plane. If it lands near a spark or flame, it will spontaneously combust or else it will coat the floor of the aeroplane in such a sticky explosive that it will not be able to land without the friction of the touchdown igniting the plane._

_Red: Boom. Bang. Blast. It will result in the immediate destruction of the plane in an all-consuming and immensely violent detonation that takes root deep within our body and then bursts forward burning the entire plane in its uncontrollable fire._

_Bingo._

We stepped forward slowly in Edwards shadow, hesitating as we saw the timer's reduced numbers. We were torn between two options: _We could do the right, honourable thing and destroy this plane and everyone on it, right now. We would be fulfilling Maria's orders and thereby fulfilling our destiny and purpose._

Or we could trust Edward, who speaks with quiet confidence when he says he can save us and the innocents we have damned. We could escape and cut all ties with Maria to start afresh in a new state where we could seek the things missing in our life. _Even to me that sounds impossible._

_Just grab it, now! Pull the red wire, now! Now!_ A marble arm suddenly blocked our path,

"Do not even think it" he hisses to us in a soft growl, that even uttering threats sounds like music. We stare, utterly bewildered, as Edward proceeds to lower his voice even further making me lean in to hear him "I can hear your thoughts; and I'm warning you now, as a friend, not to attempt it."

"You can hear... thoughts??" We mouth the words aghast. "Our thoughts??" The words made no sound as they left our lips yet Edward still managed to hear us. He leaned closer, his icy lips millimetres from my ear, as he spoke in a tantalizingly low tone that we could barely hear with all the rustling and chattering around me.

"I can hear your thoughts, Jasper." _Our thoughts._ "No, your thoughts, Jasper; not the projected illusion of yourself, that keeps telling you to die. You can't trust it - that thing inside your head isn't real; therefore it can't think. You believe it is a part of you, but it's a disease in your mind that is controlling you."

What? You don't exist?

_No, I exist. It must be you that's the illusion. Sorry Jasper._

But I was here first!

_Prove it!_

I remember!

I remember being five years old. It was the middle of summer, a heat wave and Pa was off working in the fields trying to earn enough to feed us all. The sun too hot on my head, my shoulders, my neck as I scaled the tree by the park. I was dizzy and feeling sick from the heat but I had to make it to the top before Tobey. I needed to beat Tobey. I swung from branch to branch, like the ape trapped in the nearby Zoo would, if he ever escaped from his cell and discovered the joys of climbing without the permanent lethargic haze that surrounded all the Zoo's animals.

I saw the top of the Cedar. It was three branches away. I moved my sweaty palms across the hard cracked surface of the branch, letting myself hang for a second, unaided, before pulling myself up to straddle the trunk. I gripped it tight as a wave of nausea overcame me, but I ignored it. The tree had to be at least 100 meters high and gaining a foot with every second that passed. I slid myself onto the second branch as quickly as I could. The sweat from my back tricked down my arms coating my hands in its smooth oil as I leapt for the final branch. I grabbed it, claiming victory and for one joyful second I was elated. I was on top of the world, with no worries or cares.

I was free.

And then I began to fall...

By the time I had regained consciousness Mom was there, placing me in the at me, as I began to wail when I saw the extent of my injuries mighty tree's shadow and smoothing down my hair, pulling the specks of green and brown from my honey coloured hair. She was there peeling back my blood-soaked trousers and sighing and shaking her chestnut head, soothing my sobs with promises and reassurances that they were just cuts and bruises and that they would be all better soon.

_That was me, not you. It was me she cuddled; me she whispered stories of imps and gnomes to. She's my mother! She's mine. She's my mother, my friend, my storyteller. She told me the Story of the Apple Pixies! And the Story of the Wandering Gnome! I never heard that one... Because you're not real! I'm the real son, the real brother, the real boy!_ Oh...

"It's lying to you. It is a cancer that's eating away at your brain – it is not you. You need to find yourself, Jasper. But..." he paused as we stared at him blankly "but not now. Come on, we've got to get you off this plane and into surgery. Now!" With that he reached into a small unobtrusive shoulder-bag we had not noticed before and pulled out a tangle of buckles and fabric, too small to be a parachute or hand glider or any of the other ridiculous fantasies our subconscious had devised for our escape. It was gradually unravelling itself, in Edwards's smooth hands, to be a... harness?!?

"A harness?" We choked, eyes bulging. "That's your big action plan? A harness? Bloody Mari..." our expletive trailed off, mid-curse, as our widened eyes fell upon the other item in Edward's hand. "A harness and a hardhat. We're not going abseiling, you know" we hissed loudly, earning us a warning glance from Edward, as we were made suddenly aware of the attention of the other passengers which we had apparently attracted.

"The hat and the harness are both for you – I'll be fine" Edward breathed at me, his cool composure fuelling our horror. Seeing us glance at the hat with apprehensive dread "I'm not like you. I can easily land from such a difference, the same way I can read minds, crush rocks and move at an immense speed, too fast for your eyes-" he broke off.

At this declaration of abnormality we had begun to back away from him. Slowly, keeping our eyes fixed on his face we felt our way back as we retreated towards the toilets. We felt the thin curtain dividing the cabin from the cockpit and food rooms and with jerky movements we yanked it shut wanting to sever the connection, although putting a physical barrier between us appeared to have little effect as we could still feel his gaze boring into ours. As we pushed back the door, there was a sudden paroxysm of wind as the purple curtain fluttered briefly and just as we had anticipated; we felt the icy cold hands scoop us up with apparently no effort and move at a blurring pace towards the plane door.

"You'll be fine, I promise. But you need to believe me when I say I can help you and co-operate with me right now. There is a story as to how all this is possible, but now is neither the time nor the place for it, so I need to know now – can you trust me to help you?" The stewardesses, we assumed, were all serving meals or otherwise occupied as the round exit portal, inconspicuous against the side of the plane was deserted. Slowly, Edward set us down before attaching the black harness to his body as he handed us the yellow plastic hardhat.

"I thought the harness was for me?" we asked apprehensively attaching the hat to our head, still wary of this stranger with superpowers who promised the impossible. He chuckled but looked pleased at our easy acceptance of his non-explanation.

"It is. You will be on my back – unless you want to land a 35,000 foot jump that is." We swallowed nervously. _What if all this is just an extravagant way of killing us?_ "You were willing to die earlier – what's changed?" Edward asked in the same knowledgeable tone, as if he already knew our answer. _Which is strange because we sure as hell don't._ He smiled reassuringly at us as he clipped the final buckle into place, with astonishing speed. "You have changed Jasper. And I wouldn't dream of killing you - Alice would murder me."

This cryptic remark surely designed to distract us, had us questioning our self as we tried and failed to focus on panicking about the fall. Alice? Who was she? Why did we feel a shiver of anticipation run up our spine every time we thought her name? _I don't feel that- Alice, Alice, Alice - nothing; It must be something that only affects you._ Why did one mention of a name have me trying to imagine her face when clearly I should be worrying about our impending doom? _Yes you should. Now please, we need to focus on the detonation switch – it's not too late._

Edward who appeared to be readying himself, glared at us suddenly as he heard the last thought "It's not a though" he muttered, as he gestured to us to climb on. We eyed his bony frame warily as he shifted his position infinitesimally lower into a crouch, one hand on either handle of the portal – did he realise what he was asking us to do? He nodded, hearing the unspoken question and gestured again, clearly impatient. We hesitated for a second longer, before climbing onto his muscled back as we began snapping the locks into place.

"Just in case... you know... if something...who is Alice?? It's just that you mentioned her and I wondered, um..." my voice shaky to start with trailed off. Edward, on the other hand looked jubilant.

"You said `I', you referred to yourself as an individual! I told you, you have changed. And nothing will go wrong you'll be fine. Alice is my sister – she's the one who sent me here for you."

As I began to process this information he added casually: "She's waiting for you."

And with that he ripped the door off at the right hinge, as he sprang in a fluid movement reminiscent of a panther up into the air, swinging the door back into place with the force of his momentum. For a second, I felt as weightless and as free as I clung to Edwards back as I did as I fell from the tree all those years ago. And then we began to plummet...

* * *

**Story Notes:**

Whooooo! I'm glad this chapters over - now I can get to work on (duh-duh-duhhhhhhh) my very first Alice/Jasper scene!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter - please review it and I promise to update soon (ish - their first scene together needs to be perfect!!!)

Thanks for reading... :-))

xxxx


	4. Love At

Chapter 4 – Love At

There was something immensely soothing about hurtling towards the ground towards certain death at what felt like a million miles a second, just falling - unaided and unabated. The earth stretched below us as we stared at the maze of colours below.

This way up, the city below looked like the engine of the old combine harvester that lived in the back of the warehouse of our derelict abandoned home. The harvester had stood alone; dominating the corner of spider webs and shadows for as long as I had been alive. Every part of its worn and rusted body was coated with a decade of dust. Everything that is, except the engine. My father spent an hour of every day with his head stuck amongst the oily gaskets and pistons while I crawled underneath the corroded belly of the machine to check the fuel intake and the oil consumption. I spent years of my childhood staring at that engine, willing it to turn over and roar to please my father. I was eight and I would have given anything to turn our lost cause into a working machine and to see my father's work rewarded. It was only after that I realised it was the only because it was a lost cause that my father cared at all.

But this way, turned nearly a full 180 degrees, staring at a blurry brown and white mass it looks more like the cracked black lacquer on the ancient forgotten cupboard that used to be my secret hiding place so many years ago. I used to crawl inside the rotting wood from a hole that years of woodworm had excavated in the back of the wardrobe. If I was careful and moved slowly, I could sneak in and out without disturbing a grain of dust that had settled on its abandoned doors. My brothers and sisters all ignored the antique lost in time, when undertaking a vigorous yet always unsuccessful hunt for their elder bother. All except Lucy. The second eldest – there wasn't a year between us, but she was ignored while I became the pure white sheep of the family. But Lucy was smart. She knew where I would hide would be somewhere logic ruled impossible. That's why it was her who finally found me, years later when the game was long over and I had lost. The cupboard had stood alone; filled with lonely clothes, stained with memories, coated in darkness; it was a place logic didn't reach.

In my old house, a lot of things stood alone.

I stared blindly at the ground steadily climbing up to meet me. As soon as we hit the ground the impact would cause every bone in our body to splinter into a million tiny fragments, puncturing our lungs, heart and brain. But of course this wouldn't affect us, as the cracking of our spinal column would render us totally paralysed and probably dead as the nerves are torn from the brain stem causing instant yet immensely painful death.

_The bomb casing will break upon impact. It'll detonate instantly. _Jesus... I can't let that happen. If it detonates now it will kill hundreds. Half of those deaths will be kids and babies. I can't murder children. _You're going to regardless of what you do now, Jasper. Just accept it. _No. The bomb relies on my core body temperature remaining at 37.0 Celsius. It needs to have a heat source to allow the gasoline to react with the carbon in the cola, but if we were dead and there was no heat source...

"Edward, you have to kill us right now!" I screamed my voice weak and lost in the whistling wind, making it indictable to human ears yet Edward still turned his copper head, chuckling.

"You do enjoy the drama, don't you?" he called loudly a smirk etched on his perfect features.

"No Edward, I'm serious. You have to kill us now to allow our body time to cool before we hit the ground. If our body is still warm when the impact of the landing crushes the bomb's casing, it will detonate. It will kill hundreds of innocent people who can be saved, if you help to kill a potential suicide bomber who has more sins and blood on his hands than all the potential victims' combined." We yelled fighting to raise our voice a fraction above the wind shouting in our ears. But Edward appears unaffected by this as his grin only widened and he began to look almost impressed – there was no other explanation – he was clearly insane.

"No, I'm not actually – although I can see why you may think that... But no, I was just wondering about your sudden personality change. Half an hour ago, you were ready to end your life and the lives of 243 other passengers, not to mention the civilians of New York who would have ended their afternoon stroll with an exploding plane falling from the sky. You were happy to condemn thousands of these types of people and yet now you are contemplating suicide to save rather than destroy. It is a remarkably quick change of morals from someone ready to die for their cause. I am impressed at the way you are battling your psyche, but I would like to know - what brought it on?"

_Jasper's strange obsession with your sister, a girl he has never met and yet is already hosting imaginary conversations with..._ Stop! It's probably best not to dwell too much on Alice, when her apparently mind-reading brother is the only one standing in the way of our certain death. And yet, I still can't stop. _Say something quickly – he's waiting for our reply and you don't want him probing into your thoughts and discovering your little crush, do you...? _

"Is now an appropriate time to discuss moral compasses?" we gasped as the steadily increasing pressure caused the gravity of our combined weight pushed us towards our graves. "I have just informed you that unless you strangle me or stab me or something – hundreds of people will die. You have to kill me before I hit the ground. My body needs to be cool to stop the reaction taking place and the wind will cool my body sufficiently - if you do it now."

"No" Edward growled at me as the focused his body into an impossible shape that appeared to reduce our air resistance dramatically as we shot through the air.

"Why not?" I screamed desperately "What possible motive can you have for wanting to endanger innocent people to save a potential bomber?"

"Well firstly, because my sister would quite literally tear me limb from limb if I let anything happen to you." I blinked. "And secondly, because beneath all the melodrama, drug abuse, schizophrenia and angst you are actually quite a good person." I swallowed as we entered a solid looking cloud only to fall straight through. It was quite possible that my brain would shut down at any second, resign in protest of all the crap I'd forced it to endure over the years. It had handled my parent's death. It had handled the sale of my siblings. It hand handled the years of drugs. It had handled the concept of suicide bombing. Admittedly it had handled them all very badly, often resulting in me trapped in impossible situations with no real choices or options, but it had handled them. But this beautiful boy with his impossible assurances and old fashioned manner was pushing it over the edge. And I was pretty sure he had mentioned Alice in that explanation which was not aiding my struggle for mental stability.

Suddenly, the seemingly endless cold cloud that enveloped us dissolved and I gazed in horror as I saw 100 meters of air between us and the a small forest just off an unknown city. Edward rocked forward until he was parallel to the earth, spreading his arms and legs widely he shifted our combined weight onto his feet as if crouching in mid-air. We were fast approaching now; the trees were looming higher to greet us visitors for the sky with every millisecond that passed. "Hold on to your hardhat!" Edward yelled before he prepared to land.

SMACK!! We heard rather than saw the impact of our landing in this forest. Instead of the instant yet agonizing death we had anticipated we felt our neck jerk back as the impact shuddered through our body but as we looked down we saw Edward, still frozen in his bend amazingly unharmed.

The ground which had cracked and rippled under the force of such a violent attack, creating wide crevices and fissures in the rocky surface of the earth all stemming from Edwards hands and feet. He reached up and slowly began to release the numerous safety catches and locks on the underside of the harness. We knew when he had succeeded as our body fell sharply to the forest floor landing with a thump on the hard ground free from cushioning plant life. We stood slowly.

We felt numb.

We didn't want to recall the dreamlike events of the previous minute or the events leading up to them; however our mind refused to comply. We glanced down at one shaking hand that looked odd and out of place in the fractured sunlight of the trees. It looked strange and alien, the pale flesh starched tight over the long bones unmarked save for two wide angry welts down the centre of the palms from the harness, crimson against the pallor of the skin.

We shivered.

What was going on here? We had just fallen 30,000 feet, we should be dead. But we couldn't be dead. This wasn't death – there were no flames or pitchforks there was just an impure, tainted world. There was an empty coke can lying by my feet and the hollow aluminium lying forgotten on the grassy ground. This couldn't be heaven or hell, it was too mediocre. Unless that was the real hell; being trapped in an existence with no choice of being good or evil, just being. That this was it.

We fell back as we surrendered to the blackness that was crowding my brain rather than face this adequate existence. We just wanted to give up and go to sleep in this comfortable lethargy currently consuming my limbs. We hit the ground asleep, never wanting to wake. Nothing could make me wake up.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Jasper"

Pure notes - sweet honey coated drops of sun -danced through our weary brain like the burning path flames through a deserted light-starved wasteland, pulling us up from the dreary gray shades of nothingness into a world of pain and anger. We opened our eyes.

There before my blinded eyes stood the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Her hair shone darkly like the night sky illuminated with a million stars. The soft curve of her lips put the pouting plumpness of a ripe cherry to shame. But it was the expression in her bewitching golden eyes that transfixed me as I basked in the emotions pouring from her soul. She was not an angel – she was far too pure and beautiful to be a mere messenger. She was surely a Goddess or another divine being. I was not dead or alive then, for this stunning fantasy would not belong in this world or the next. She would have entire galaxies created in her honour, I had obviously alienated myself so far from humanity that I had ended up in this dreamlike place that greatly surpassed any ideals I once had of a human heaven.

Such a pure soul radiating love and warmth and hope. I had never felt such love. When I was little, lying under the body of the harvester with my father I had felt conditional love. Love that was granted as long as I was useful and paid my dividends. Hiding in cramped corners, hidden from my siblings I had felt conditional love. Love that was granted so long as I remained hidden in mystery and provided them with my absent presence. The love I felt from her was unconditional, genuine and indubitable. She was the epitome of perfection.

"I'm Alice"

Of course she was. There was no other presence in the universe that could send fire roaring through me with a word. I sat, tilting my head to drink her ethereal beauty in.

"You've kept me waiting a long time." What? Had this beautiful blazing goddess being waiting for something as unworthy and despicable as my tainted self? The thought chilled me and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to remain here forever, at this divine creature's side.

"I'm sorry, ma'am" I tried to avert my gaze for her, but my eyes were unwilling to release the gorgeous apparition in case the most beautiful thing they had ever beheld or ever would behold disappeared and revealed her perfect form was made of nothing but insubstantial clouds and mist.

I reached and took her small perfect hand in my soiled palm. It felt like bright white lights mixed with the soft scent of fresh fruit in the summer.

It was my home.


	5. First Sight

**A/N:**

1. Firstly, I'm soo sorry about the delay on this chapter. Life got in the way :-( It took me a while to get it right and I'm sorry about the reduced length (unless you prefer shorter chapters?) but I am pleased with the final product and would love to hear your opinions!

2. Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read and review this, you are the people who keep me going! I'm sorry to get so repetitive - I'm a review vampire so please donate a nice O- review!

3. Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Alice or Jasper. If I did there would be way more books ;-) Thanks xxxx

* * *

First Sight

I couldn't measure the time I spent lying by the side of my Goddess, touching her perfect skin; drinking in the luscious perfume of her hair. It felt as if I had never existed before this moment – all of my life lay here in Alice's unequalled eyes. My previous memories seemed faded and drained of life and colour, for how could there be a life before Alice? I felt the black sky of my life illuminate in her presence like a supernova the second I heard her sweet clear voice, but the exploding stars in my head continued to burn, re-igniting long diminished fuels to burn at the slightest brush of her skin or whisper of her hair. Here, by the side of the fire and fuel in my life was where I wanted to stay forever, screw the campaign or the cause or Maria. She was perfect.

And she was here with me. I blinked as little as possible, not wanting to miss out on a single second in her presence. I was vaguely aware of someone else nearby in the sterilised white room, but I found that I didn't care who it was or what they wanted, I didn't care about anything besides her face. I wanted to lose myself in her perfectly clear eyes and never be found. She was everything in my world as she bit her full lip softly as she studied my face.

I felt a cool hand on my shoulder as I noticed the others around me for the first time. There was Edward, smirking at my feet with his arm wrapped protectively round a pretty brunette who was gazing up at him adoringly and another couple hovering by a dusty window, the mottled light streaming in enough to see the reflection of blond hair and big muscles. But it was the pallid complexion of the young man leaning over me, with his platinum hair turned white in the morning light, which interested me.

He muttered something quickly to Alice who moved closer to the side of my bed, sending my senses into overload. I couldn't cope being this close to perfection. I wanted to run away to save my eyes from another minute of her astonishing perfection and yet I would have died rather than move even an inch away from her.

"Jasper, my name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen" the man at my head said smoothly. "This is my family: Edward and Bella, Emmet and Rosalie and my wife Esme." I noticed Alice wasn't formally introduced. Was that because my infatuation was obvious due to my pointed staring or because I was not meant to form any attachments to her?

_Too late..._

The familiar voice resounding through my head sounded oddly unwelcome and strange in this new setting. I wanted Alice for myself – I didn't want other parts of me seeing her let alone knowing her. I frowned slightly as I concentrated on ignoring the voice; fortunately the sight of Alice at my side drove away all coherent thought in a microsecond.

"Edward has already informed us of your situation with the bomb and its triggering system" Carlisle continued calmly "and we have come to the conclusion that the only sake way to disarm the bomb is to remove it from your body surgically, before Rosalie dismantles it." His tone didn't change. There was no indication in his demeanour that we were discussing anything other than the weather – clearly he was insane. Edward snorted in the background earning him a reproving look from the beautiful woman I hadn't noticed previously who stood hovering, somewhat nervously in the doorway. I smiled weakly at her and watched her face light up.

_Well, that was weird._

"I'm going to sedate you so it'll be completely painless; you'll be out for around 5 hours so trust me you won't feel a thing." I widened my eyes, trying to open my mouth but it had suddenly become too dry to move. I didn't want to be away from Alice for 5 hours! I could barely stand blinking, I couldn't accept unconsciousness; I silently begged Edward to reason with Dr. Cullen. Edward grinned again, looking far too pleased with himself as he spoke quickly, words blurring into each other but everyone managed to hear the tiny sound.

I tested the emotions of the room, a little talent I had acquired from endless nights of poker playing as a kid. I was now an accurate judge of emotions. Alice radiated love so pure it made my chest hurt whenever I looked at her, Esme and Bella emitted happiness although the cause of this happiness was a mystery to me; whereas Edward was more smug. Rosalie and Emmett hid their curiosity behind smiling masks and Carlisle was confused.

"You do realise that without sedating you the process will be life-threateningly painful? You may die instantly from the shock."

"I don't care." I whispered stubbornly looking the doctor straight in his golden eyes, letting my resolution show on my face. Apparently Edward validated this when he whispered again because Carlisle let out a long sigh and shook his head, bewildered.

"Obviously we don't have much time, so I'm going to begin in a minute. " He pulled on the latex gloves and began pulling out an array of pointy metal sticks. Alice inched closer, gazing at me earnestly.

"You don't have to do this. I will still be here when you wake up. I won't leave you, I promise" she sang, adding to my already euphoric state.

I smiled at her flawless face "I don't want to miss a single second with you" I breathed surprising myself with my honesty. My heart stopped when she tipped her perfect head forwards letting her glossy hair caress my cheek as she slowly approached my ear.

"I know exactly what you mean." She murmured as the tips of her fingers faintly traced the line of my jaw, igniting my skin with her proximity causing the most intense feelings I had ever experienced to magnify to an unbearable level as she let her silky smooth fingers trace my lip. A pointed cough from Dr. Cullen caused Alice to slip away from my face and drop to the floor where she pressed the rounded contours of her features against my palm.

I was taken to a new realm of light and love where the only things that existed was her beautiful face pressed against my hand and her perfect soul-searing eyes. I was vaguely aware of a slight pinch in my side as the procedure began but I remained in a blissful heaven letting the formless ghosts drift around me and my whirlpool of clarity.

That was when I realised. As long as I had Alice, everything in my life would be right again. It would be better than right, if she was at my side there was no need for anyone or anything else.

All I would ever need.

She was my life now.

_Let's see, shall we??_

* * *

**Story Notes:**

Go on - you know you want to press the button.

Go on

It's right there - a simple yes or no is great...

You know you want to....

Go on


	6. Blood

1. I know! I am as suprised as you that this is up already - but I had so many wonderful reviews it made me want to ignore all my homework and write obsessively!! XD So thank you to everyone who reviewed - I love you all (sob sob!)

2. Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Jasper. You can tell as there isn't a sequel to Breaking Dawn called "A Long-Winded Soppy Book About His Royal Hotness Jasper And His Soul Mate Alice, The Cutest Couple Ever!" So that is a really really really good thing -for you.

3. Just a warning: this chapter has very detailed gore and horror so please be aware and don't read if you are squeamish/have just eaten/ ever want to eat again! Hehe... Everyone has been so great about this story I decided to give people a treat. Thats right - there's two new P.O.V. (not a full Alice chapter - don't get your hopes up!) as well as Jasper (who is too sexy and too much fun to write to stay away from!)

* * *

**Blood**

**C/POV**

I ran the surgical blade down the ugly messy stitches covering the boy's stomach in an uneven stained mass of rotting plastic. The tip of the knife stroked the skin, splitting it as warm blood erupted from the incision coating my latex enclosed fingers in a haze of sweetness. Alice stiffened and pulled away; her actions mirrored by Edward. I ignored them both and concentrated on breaking the remaining stitches in the boy's chest.

The wound split open as I cut the last frayed tie and reached for a set of clampers to try and stem the bleeding before the rich aroma of blood filled the room completely. I heard a small repetitive beeping sound from the breathing monitor, alerting me to the fact that Jasper's body was going into hemorrhagic shock.

"Esme..." I began but she was already at Japers head forcing an endeotracheal intubator into his throat as his respiratory system began to fail. With each short harsh gasp, fountains of blood flew from the open wound causing everyone to tense and pause as we resisted the most powerful instinct of all - the longing to bite – as a family we supported each other. A sudden cough forced a large jet of blood into the air landing millimetres away from Bella, matting her shiny hair and ivory face with drops of crimson. She stiffened and turned instantly to Edward who pulled her from the room, his movements a blur; quickly followed by Rosalie and Emmet.

Esme bit her lip nervously as she remained close to the readout to Jasper's brainwaves as she checked his breathing.

"It's fine, Esme. You can go – you're only going hurt him if you stay" Alice whispered softly, her eyes never leaving Jasper's deathly pale face. Ignoring Esme's supportive glace as she left the room I began to check his vitals. They were strong.

He was ready.

I gazed sadly down at the thin blood-stained body lying on the operating table, which looked more peaceful than anyone I had ever seen, dead or alive. I watched helplessly as spasms of extreme pain shooting through every nerve ending in his delicate body drowning him in pain that he did not seem to feel.

Slowly I reached for my retractors, as I spread the skin out exposing the organs, bloody and sticky; I tried to forget the unimaginable pain I was causing the boy. Slicing open an internal wall I saw what the clump of fat and swollen muscles had disguised, a thick black box with lacerating wires puncturing nearby blood vessels. I had to remove that monstrosity.

I was in the process of removing a germ ridden spike from the cell wall when Alice cried out. Lifting my head sharply, I saw Jasper lying shaking on the blood stained table, his eyes rolled back in his head as his brainwaves began to spike.

"He's hallucinating." I yelled at Alice, whose medical judgement appeared to be impaired by the good looks of the boy. "Try to reach him. Talk to him." I added seeing the look on her tiny elfin face. There was a love in her eyes I had never seen before, not even Edward's protective obsession for Bella couldn't compare with the force of this emotion pouring from her eyes.

I lowered my gaze and tried not to think about what it would do to my daughter if I killed this boy, ignoring the sounds of her love echoed around the room as she desperately tried to release her love from his the prison of his mind.

* * *

**A/POV**

It was all I could think about, all I could feel. That moment when Jaspers heart stopped and our future together melted away, leaving a void of nothingness behind it. It was the same void I had lived all my life in until I met Jasper and yet it wasn't. I had known from the second I arrived on the earth that I would find Jasper and I had loved him ever since that moment. He was my flickering flame, the torchlight in the void but this future without him was different. There was no torch to guide me and soothe me and hold me and love me.

"Jasper!"

I couldn't live in the pitch black darkness of my vision. I had grown accustomed the light of my life and for a split second I saw that light extinguished.

I couldn't live in the split-second reality that I had only just avoided. I needed Jasper to wake up.

"Jasper!"

I was whispering in his ear, letting the scent of his warm blood and moist skin swirl around me as I placed a small finger on the tip of his slightly feminine nose, which always looked so alluring next to his chiselled cheekbones and piercing eyes. Eyes that were currently rolled up into his head as he fought of his inner daemons. And at that moment I wanted nothing more than to help him overcome his fears the way that he had helped me overcome mine countless times before. The only fear I had that he couldn't cure was my phobia of the dark without his light next to me.

And I doubted that one was curable.

"Come back to me."

I knew already that these pitiful words wouldn't tame the monsters in his head.

I needed to scare away the darkness with my own light that would free Jasper from his shadowed prison; as he had done for me years ago.

"Don't leave me."

I should tell him the words he needs to hear...

"Please?"

But I can't.

My lips won't move, my tongue is glued to the roof of my mouth,

I can't.

* * *

J/POV

It all went black. Alice was gone. The pain came rushing in, bombarding sensitive nerves soothed by her presence with jolts of skull searing pain.

.

Pictures of blood.

Smooth trickling oozy.

Flowing down a pristine ivory wall, a graffiti tag of pain.

.

"Jasper" Alice.

My unacknowledged goddess, my unrequited love.

"Jasper" Alice.

She had no idea how much she meant to me, that she was the driving force of my life.

.

Pictures of bombs.

Flashes lights bangs.

Real bombs detonating every other second in unreal locations.

.

"Come back to me" Alice.

I searched for a way out of a place with no doors, no locks and no walls.

"Don't leave me" Alice.

I would find a way back to her.

.

Pictures of water.

Flooding thrashing drowning.

The most horrific death resulting in the most peaceful victims.

.

"Please?" Alice.

.

Pictures of death.

.

* * *

**C/POV**

Wasting no time now, I hurriedly removed the metal punctures from the vessels and began to stitch the cells walls together. Internal bleeding was the last thing I needed right now, so I continued using my added speed and nimbleness to close the festering wounds as thoroughly as possible despite the spasms of pain and twitching of Jasper's hallucination.

Slowly I removed the bomb from its hiding place amongst Jasper's kidneys and praying I hadn't caught his liver removed it from the bucking body as Edward appeared at my side ready to take the device in my hands to Rosalie. The plastic display pasted onto the metal casing allowed for less than 20 minutes before Jasper's homemade cocktail exploded. I quickly dropped it into Edwards waiting hands and began the stitch up the incision, making it a much better job of it than the previous doctor had. But man-made scars wouldn't matter, when he was bitten...

Wait, what? I questioned myself as I reattached muscles and groups of cells to the organs I had partially severed. When he was bitten?? Why did I believe my daughter, my little Alice would want to turn a killer into her soul mate?? She was so pure and innocent and he... he tried to blow up an aeroplane.

I raised my eyes from the stitches to see Alice still bending over Jasper, calling for him.

* * *

**A/POV**

"Please Jasper??"

I have to say it now or I'll lose him forever. But how will I survive when my hope is gone?

"For me??"

Looking at him now, his chest cut open, blood dried at the corners of his mouth, I have never seen anything I could call a worthy comparison for him. He is, simply, perfection. And his soul is deeper and more open than that of any other being, but it is hidden away. He's waiting for someone to save him. It could be me.

...

I could be his saviour.

* * *

**J/POV**

"Please Jasper??" Alice.

I'm coming.

.

Pictures of knives.

Stabbing biting slaying.

Draining a life into a sharpened metal stick.

.

"For me??" Alice.

Anything for Alice.

.

Pictures of death.

.

* * *

**C/POV**

No, I was wrong – there was no way Alice was in love with him.

* * *

**A/POV**

"I... I love you"

* * *

**Story Notes:**

**Well?? Don't you love Alice?**

You can show your love for Alice and Jasper by clicking the review button.

It's right there.

It won't take long... but it'll make me very happy! ;-)


	7. Nightmare

**

* * *

**

A/N:

1. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I loved reading them. Special thanks go the amazing communities who have added this story their archives. Thank you so much! Please continue to review! :-)

2. I don't own Romeo and Juliet or Twilight, as despite having a fan club of one (thanks contygoldbarg) Stephanie Meyer - the real owner - refuses to write the epic tale "A Long-Winded Soppy Book About His Royal Hotness Jasper And His Soul Mate Alice, The Cutest Couple Ever!". Shame. Also there is a lot of swearing in this chapter so please be warned...

3. In a doomed attempt to achieve the impossible and make this very confusing chapter somewhat lucid I will try to make some things clear now: It has been shown throughout the last few chapters that Alice's presence has had a big effect on Jasper's schizophrenia, reducing it enormously. In response to the sudden immunity to it, the disease has progressed into Dissociative Identity Disorder (link to a site explaining DID in my profile) resulting in an alter-ego instead of mere auditory hallucinations. Please bare in mind while reading this - IT IS FANTASY! How else would you get a chapter narrated by an alter-ego and a pixie vampire? Thanks XD

* * *

Nightmare

APOV:

"I love you" I repeated.

A sense of fulfilment washed through me as he twitched.

I watched reverently, the flickering of his eyelids as copper-coloured eyes were revealed, scrunched up in agony as he attempted to speak.

"Ssh... I know, I know. It's alright, Jasper, I'm here. You just sleep, I'll be here. I'll always be here" I reassured him, tracing patterns in his skin as his eyes closed once more.

* * *

**DarkJPOV:**

_Under the pretence of sleep I regarded her through deceptively closed lids, the bitch lying next to us, her short black hair sticking up against the hard pillow as she stared at Jasper's catatonic form while he remained distracted by the dark daydreams I created to entertain him, leaving his dormant and somewhat homicidal sub-personality in control of this weak body. I looked at the slut that had ruined everything for me. Within a second of laying eyes on her, Jasper had transformed for an obedient naive soldier to a pussy-whipped bitch. _

_He risked our life, undertaking surgery without painkillers or any of that other shit so he could make puppy eyes at his bitch for a second longer. He had disobeyed a direct order from Maria in letting the bomb be removed voluntarily and allowing our organisation to be compromised._

_He would have to be punished._

_But so would she. _

_After all, she was the one who changed him, made him see the fucking light. Before her face burned its way into Jasper's scarred mind, poisoning it with the image of the tiny tosser Jasper found so enthralling, he was my unknowing slave. Before her sodding voice infiltrated his senses I had a body at my disposal – quite an achievement as I was not born with it. She was the one who forced me to grow and evolve into a sub-personality. I was happy as a hallucination._

_If I acted now, moving quickly and quietly under the cover of darkness the way I spread like a cancer through Jasper's mind, I could kill the slut before anyone could do anything to stop me. And the last image her golden eyes would process would be me grinning up at her from inside her loves body as I squeezed the trigger on the Glock-17 complete with silencer stashed in amongst my things at the end of the bed. It would have made more sense to use a handgun but how was I supposed to get that past airline security – let alone Jasper. _

_But the result would be the same – the whore would die and then I would watch as Jasper tears himself apart. It would take under a minute to turn this cosy scene into the finale of Romeo and Juliet. _

_Are we calling characters? Dibs on Nursie._

_But if the girl was the villain, surely it made more sense to kill Jasper and let her do the pining. Jasper would be even easier to kill – it would practically be suicide. And it would be a fitting punishment for Jasper's treason – to lie, completely helpless and watch as his own hands suffocated him as his bitch desperately tried and failed to save him, to spend his final moments hating his love for not being able to save him._

_In killing her, I would be killing Jasper. But in killing Jasper I would be killing her. Decisions, decisions._

_His bitch, I decided after a moment's contemplation; if only because she was better looking. If I was going to have the bodies of my victims haunt me forever I'd rather have the hot slut stalking me than the pining dipshit. _

_Maybe I should kill the other slags in the family as well? Create myself a posse of hot hoes to entertain me in the next life? And if that posse included Rosie or whatever the fuck the blond slut was called, then so much the better. Her tits...._

_Stop. Focus, I chastised myself. I couldn't get distracted now._

_I had a mission._

_But first, I needed the bitch to go to sleep. If I rushed this and failed in my attempt at retribution there would – quite literally – be hell to pay. No, I would bide my time and wait before I acted. _

_I lay perfectly still on the cold bed and watched, inwardly smirking as the bitches eyes closed slowly as she wrapped a cold hard arm around our body. Her touch felt strange – the smooth feel of a gravestone, trapping me._

_Slowly not wanting to wake fucking sleeping beauty, I writhed and squirmed beneath her unrelenting arm that bound us tightly to her side. Abandoning all attempts at subtlety I pushed, straining in her iron embrace. Who was this chick – a wrestler? And why the hell couldn't I get out? _

_Suddenly, I felt my body twitch. Silently I grabbed a discarded pillow and leaned over until I was hovering over his bitch. It was a pity, I thought as I prepared to descend, that there would be no blood; I had imagined my murder groupies to be naked save for some bloodstained rags. They would have been easier on the eyes. _

_I clamped the pillow down suddenly, pushing the white cotton into the cavities of the nose and mouth. Amber eyes flickered open, but they were calm and tranquil – there was no trace of the panic or fear I craved. _

_My leg gave another involuntary twitch. Motherfucker. Why did he have to wake up now?_

_Damn._

_Losing control._

_Shit. _

_Numbness everywhere._

_Fuck._

_Can't move..._

_

* * *

_

**_APOV:_**

The course of true love never did run smooth.

But how twisted could a course get and still arrive at the intended destination? The question haunted me.

Because my private world of shadows and maybes, which had been illuminated for years by the promise of Jasper, now showed my love, with the shine of darkness clouding his tawny eyes attempting to kill me.

He was standing over me, gun placed in the centre of my forehead...

Mist, swirling shadows, blurred ghosts.

Changes.

He was leaning on the edge of the bed for support as he pulled the trigger, a loud bang...

Mist, swirling shadows, blurred ghosts.

Changes.

He was leaning on the edge of the bed for support, screwing a silencer to the barrel...

Mist, swirling shadows, blurred ghosts.

Changes.

Now.

My extended hearing recognized Edward's explanation of alter-egos and dormant personalities but my gaze remained on the body lying in the hospital bed. He looked so pure, so peaceful, so incapable of the actions I had seen him attempt. Ignoring the running commentary of thoughts Edward was currently reciting, I pondered the affects of vampire venom on a mental illness.

My internal musing was instantly repeated by Edward and met by universal hisses and growls.

"You can't even consider it Alice. We have no clue if it will cure or strengthen the disease and a sudden personality change in the highly unstable mind of a newborn would most likely render him insane." Carlisle, ever the professional.

"Will he harm my family? Because I want you to be happy with all my heart but I can't allow it if it jeopardises my family. I need you to be safe." Esme, ever the mother.

"I understand, Alice. I also loved a human... "_In killing her, I would be killing Jasper. But in killing Jasper I would be killing her. Decisions, decisions._"... But Jasper is not Bella. He seemed stable before – but the strain of multiple personalities on a weakened mind..." Edward, ever the omniscient know-it-all.

"Have you forgotten he was fantasizing about killing you?!? Wait... What was that about Rose? THE SICK..." Emmett, even abridged, he was blunt and honest.

"One version of him is a sick psycho-pervert. I don't care which one it is, I don't care how small it is, I refuse to allow you to turn that. I will not be around that." Rosalie, ever vapid and self-absorbed.

"Alice, you know I want for you what I have with Edward and if you say Jasper is the one, I will accept that. But we need to help him become Jasper before you can change him." Bella, ever the voice of truth and kindness.

With a resigned sigh, I saw my future self feign sleep. I did so while I wrapped my strong arms around Jasper's lightly muscled frame as commanded by the shadowy figures of the future. I followed the instructions of my vision until I felt the harsh cotton being pressed to my face.

Opening my eyes, I stared into a pair of eyes consumed with pain, anger and confusion.

I watched as my Jasper awoke.

* * *

**JPOV:**

Opening my eyes, I stared into a pair of eyes consumed with love, relief and sadness.

I watched the relief flicker across Alice's beautiful face when I smiled weakly at her.

I loved her.

She loved me. I had heard her beautiful voice proclaim her love as I lay on the operating table. How I wanted to sit up and tell her it was alright, I loved her too, more than she would ever know. But the pain was too much.

With her there, my mind was freed from the haunting visions of death and the dying. She released me from an internal prison I hadn't known I was a prisoner of until I was unconfined by its oppressive walls. She was my heaven, home and heart all in one perfect being.

But something was wrong.

She was upset. I frowned.

"What's wrong?" I asked, bewildered.

She told me.

* * *

**APOV:**

As I watched the horror dawn on his perfect face as I recounted his actions explaining about the mutated disease, I swore I would put this right.

I would free him of this thing.

Consequences be damned, I would cure him.

* * *

**Story Notes:**

So? What do you think?

Does Dark Jasper scare you? Which family member (if any) do you agree with? What would you do in Alice's position and the love of your life tried, however unsuccessfully to kill you? Are you confused by the entire chapter?

Click the review button!

Thanks for reading!


	8. Heaven

**A/N:**

1. Thank you sooo much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I had no idea it would go down so well! But I realise it was very dark & not to everyone's tastes so I have a special (but quite short - soory!) chapter for you. Please review this one! :-)

2. I don't own Twlight *eveyone breathes a sigh of relief* No, I'm just not that cool. Stephanie Meyer is - go be nice to her! She might let you play with Jasper!

3. Sorry - there's no DarkJasper in this chapter (he wanted a holiday) and no Alice (too small to hold the pen) but I have tried to dreate the best chapter possible regardless so - ENJOY!!!

**

* * *

**

Heaven

**JPOV**

I did not deserve to live.

I was the most evil creature in existence.

I had been forgiven for attempted homicide, granted a reprieve in the form of my own personal goddess coming to save me and instead of worshiping the air that kisses her plump lips I attempt to kill her. I try to slaughter my saviour in my sleep.

I'm going to rot in hell. I'll bet there's a space for me next to Hitler. How could I do that to Alice? She was my beautiful saviour, my beam of light in this ever expanding pool of darkness and I try to suffocate her. I want to die if only to put Alice out of her misery. Honestly, it seems like the kindest thing I can do for my only love now is to take myself away from her forever. And there is only one way I can ensure that I never return, in a moment of weakness, to hurt Alice again. Death.

I was curled in a ball; head pressed against the corner of the empty room, bare walls adorned with dust and sticky dark trails criss-crossing the floor with a spider's web of blood.

Physically, I was lying on the stained sheets of the operating room but on every other level I was a million miles below ground - stuck in my own personal hell. I didn't know how long I had been there; time had ceased to exist aeons ago. I kept replaying the pain in Alice's eyes, cleverly veiled but obvious in her open eyes.

She was still there.

Sitting at the end of the operating table, holding a limp hand as she whispered lies meant to sooth and placate which only added to the pain. She had been betrayed, attacked and deceived but she still remained by my side, comforting me?

The thought repulsed me.

I could feel myself drowning in my own self-loathing. My actions were irreparable and unfixable. I had broken the only thing that mattered and I had no way of repairing –

"Jasper, the fact that you regret what you did not do is enough. It shows me that you are still the man I love – and that's all I care about; none of that other stuff matters. You complete me and now that I have found you, I can't live without you. I'm already addicted to you."

A cool palm charged with electricity pressed gently against my tear-stained face. Delicate fingers traced away each tear I had cried over her and tilted my head up, each fairy soft palm cupping a cheek, graceful thumbs tracing invisible patterns on my lips.

My eyes remained firmly fixed on the floor.

I could smell her exquisite scent as she tilted towards me, sending wafts of the most exhilarating aroma I had ever experienced straight at my unprepared senses. I shifted until I was facing the delicate body responsible for the perfume that was quickly destroying my self-control. I kept my eyes focused on the floor, determined not to look up.

Then my world stopped turning.

And I felt heaven brush my lips softly, with a fragile kiss too sweet too be true, to sublime to be real. Her divine lips lingered, their touch igniting passions burning deep within my core as the delicious sensations pouring from her. My eyes, which had closed in reverence were shocked open as I pressed my lips to hers, deepening the kiss to the point of ecstasy.

My lips were moulded to hers as they danced together, locking me in a prison of enchantment form which I never wanted to escape. My tawny eyes were locked in a passionate outpouring of love with a pair of the most radiant gold.

I wrapped my arms around her delicate body as I pressed her to me, fulfilling my desperate need for contact with the most sublime creature in the world. Her gentle fingers ran through my hair as I slid my hands further round her perfect frame, eliminating any space between us.

God, I loved her.

Tilting my head slightly, as our lips met with impossible intensity; I closed my eyes blissfully unable to process this much love.

She was divine.

Slowly, as the tempo of our lips decreased and my kisses became more adoring and reverent of Alice's overwhelming perfection, gentle hands caressed my face; as our first heavenly kiss ended with a lingering sigh of complete contentment.

I gazed into her huge eyes framed by thick dark lashes which brushed my cheek as she raised her gaze to mine, revealing a face filled with excitement and euphoria. I released my breath slowly, not wanting to break the spell surrounding us.

"I love you." I breathed into her ear and watched as the fire in her eyes sparked with elation.

"I love you too."

It was all the moment needed.

* * *

**EPOV**

I sat next to my Bella on the piano stool staring blindly at the ivory keys and trying to block the thoughts of Alice and Jasper who were mentally screaming their love for each other as they kissed for the first time.

I began chastising Alice before I remembered she couldn't hear me. It was useless planning to tell her off as the briefest glance into her thoughts quickly had me assured she would not be escaping into the future.

I could warn her verbally, but I doubted she would hear me anyway – she seemed hypnotised by Jasper's presence and completely unaware of her surroundings. I had never seen Alice this consumed, a thought which scared me.

Alice was fiercely loyal and often committed herself fully to difficult projects she knew very little about. She could never be happy with a vapid or simple partner like Emmett and Rose but she would be equally dissatisfied with a relationship as predictable and classical as that between Bella and I.

I often worried about her and had decided that a dominant personality may be what she was searching for. I had believed that she would only be able to respect someone who could stand up to her and hold his own; however, it appears I was wrong.

Jasper, despite his compromised mental state, is flawless in Alice's eyes. For someone with the capability to see everything she is remarkably blind when it comes to Jasper. I turn to gaze at my Bella, who after all this time still takes my breath away.

"She won't give him up. She loves him too much." I tell her sadly. Doesn't Alice realise how many men there are out there, men who are actually worthy of her?

Bella grasps my meaning instantly "Of course she does. He is a part of her." She pauses uncertainly before continuing "You might as well accept it and try to help." I sigh, knowing she is right and that Alice will never love anyone other than Jasper.

"But love, Jasper tried to ki-"

"No, he didn't" Bella interrupted me harshly, staring straight into my eyes. "That wasn't Jasper – it was someone else. We can't blame Jasper for actions that he has no control over."

"But he is mentally ill! She can't change him in his current condition and psychotherapy takes years."

"A few years are nothing to a vampire – you know that. She will wait for him; as long as it takes she will wait." Bella predicted confidently.

"You psychic too, now?" I teased softly, playing with a strand of silky brown hair.

"Nope, I just know Alice. She will find a way to change him so we may as well help her. Don't you want her to be happy?"

"Of course..." My voice trailed off. How could I explain that I wanted her to be happy but with someone else? "You're right." I accepted, still unconvinced.

"I will help Jasper."

* * *

**Story Notes:**

So?? What did you think??

First kisses with Jasper to everyone who reviews!!!


End file.
